Babble Fish Enabled

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

Meanwhile, North of the Border

When country reaches the size and stature of America, immigration becomes an issue that cannot be fully explored in one simple 7000 word post. So I will continue today with some more thoughts on immigration, but even then it still might not be enough, we'll see. I have no internal editor.

As I said in my last post, trying to stop immigration is so un-American Joe McCarthy's ghost has put together a ghoulish committee to bring the whole notion in for trial.

This country was built on immigration, most of it "illegal". The Pilgrims sure never took naturalization classes from the Wampanoag upon their arrival at Plymouth Rock. I doubt the first European trappers had to display their work visas to officials in the Iroquois nation when bringing in their haul for trade. And how about we ask the now extinct American Megafuana how they felt about the homo-sapiens immigrants crossing the border of the land bridge? I can bet they'd have a thing or two to say about immigrants making America a more dangerous place to raise a family.

One of the most time-honored traditions in America is when the previous class of immigrants settles in, gets a little money, and then starts complaining about the newest wave of immigrants sullying America's pristine shores. It is one of the finest American values to be accepting of new people from far away places, if only so we can come together and mock them behind their backs. Let us not deprive this joy to the generations of immigrants who have worked hard, paid their dues, and suffered their persecutions.

Yesterday I put forward a suggestion that America ought to import immigrants to keep labor markets competitive, and as solid of an idea as this is, I believe it can be improved upon.

One of the unfortunate effects today's environment of out-sourcing and downsizing is that there is too often redundancy victim left jobless, angry, probably behind on the mortgage payments. Such a disillusioned soul, left with little to call a life, is often left with nothing to lose and is unafraid to take out their misplaced anger on the employer, who was only thinking of the bottom line. Such free radicals threaten the integrity of the system with their hate and war, and cannot go unchecked.

The solution to the above-mentioned problem is where importation has leg up on outsourcing. By bringing the immigrant to the job, and not the other way around, the company can have two or more employees literally fighting for a stay from redundancy. The last one alive gets hired for the opening, citizenship included, simple as that.

With a little ingenuity these on-the-job struggles could even be turned into a form of for profit entertainment for companies, boosting profits while reducing workplace frictions and drags on productivity.  The Networks could broadcast the whole event, even give it a clever name like, "The Hiring Process" and get their highlights on ESPN. Eventually, fans of the show might even develop favorite competitors. Talk about a working class hero.

After watching the struggles just to attain a job, there might be a little more respect for the hard work of the American labor force. Maybe then there would be reason to fear and respect those poor Dodge Stratus-driving souls stuck in middle management. After all, they were forced to kill an imported worker in order to keep their job after a less-than-stellar performance review.

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